Yes, Yes, I know...It's been a while....

But I have been busy, taking care of mom, the house, the puppy and the kids.

I have, however, taken a weekend off and returned to my birthplace....New Orleans for a respite weekend.

While it's true I lived here in 2009 and part of 2010, it's nice to play tourist; to return to the places you visited as a kid. Today I slept in, lolling about in the comfortable bed in my hotel. I'm sitting on it as I write this, still luxuriating in the comfort of the many pillows that are just the right amount of fluffy and firm.

So, today I decided that once I got up, I wanted to have a roast beef poboy and then visit the New Orleans of Art. I hadn't been to the museum in a very long time, the most memorable trip being to see the King Tut exhibit back in the 70's. I remember that they painted the street and circle Nile Blue and how much of a production it was for our city.

After dressing, and regretting the fact that I failed to pack a hat, I set off for Parran's poboys...which 10 years ago when I lived here, was a small hole in the wall affair that served incredible food.

It's much bigger today and the menu has expanded as well, but the poboys are still incredible; as a matter of fact todays lunch was a 6 napkin lunch, which for you non New Orleanian's means that the poboy was dripping with gravy. I also had Fried Eggplant sticks with marinara sauce....I ADORE fried eggplant!!!!

 The whole day was beautiful. It was warm, especially in the sun, but the verdant shade of the sculpture garden, the oak's and the moss, cooled me. I had forgotten how pleasant the oasis that is City Park, and as I watched the paddle boats or the picnickers, I recalled the times we spent at the park when I was a girl.  The train still runs, I can remember taking that train around the park; the children still wave at the people who wait at the crossing, smiles wide with the innocent delight of a child. Some of the adults waved too, some a bit sheepishly perhaps, and most likely were only doing it to please the kids. Had I had the time for a ride, I'd have waived.

As I stated earlier, it had been a while since I'd been to the Museum of Art, and I had forgotten how imposing the original wooden doors are...they are about 10 inches thick, and decorated with iron studs and handles. It opened in 1911 and so the centennial anniversary is being celebrated in a year long fete, complete with floral art. Some of the featured art was done by New Orleans institutions, like Adler's Jewler's...I can still hear the time announced on the radio "Adler's Jewlery time is ...." or the TImes Picayune, The Picayune as it was then, who had a newspaper stand made of flowers and a slide show of front pages that spanned 100 years.

I also saw the Faberge collection, a truly beautiful collection, and Japanese Calligraphy. My favorite was this HUGE portrait of Marie Antoinette, as queen. It spanned from celing to floor. I wish that pictures were allowed, forbidden I'm afraid, so that I could post a shot of it. Truly imposing, beautiful.  As it was, I took pictures of what I could...

The New Orleans Museum of Art

Sculpture on the entrance circle.

Verdant and cool.

Part of the sculpture garden.

After my walk in the park, I decided that it was time for me to take a rare nap. So back to the hotel and the heavenly bed in my room. After all, I had a performance to attend later in the evening.

I've written about Jason before...and his band The Flashback Chameleons performed at Dago's Cantina last night. and naturally I attended. After all, true friends are hard to come by, and also I appreciate music, especially when its performed by talented people. Jason and the Chameleons are very, very talented. 

Suffice it to say, I haven't stayed up as late as I did in a long, long time. In fact I didn't make it back to the hotel until 5 AM this morning. Talk about a hard drive back to Houston today...thank God for coffee. BUT I HAD A BLAST!!!!! I also got to see Mike Styborski, am old buddy from middle school who is still as cool as he was then. 

Jason and De De, part of the Flashback Chameleons

All in all, I had a wonderful weekend! I really needed to get away from it all and it was nice to get back home again.

Update on Mom and Other Items

My last entry was on 2/23, one day before my eldest daughter turned 16, and the news was dire.

Well, miracles do indeed happen, my mother pulled through. She has a long, long road ahead of her as she has to recover from the punemonia and also rehab her knee, but I am not complaining.

My eldest, Katie, just left this morning for a week long trip to The Big Apple. She is touring with her school choir, and they will see all of Manhattan as well as attend two Broadway shows and give a concert in front of the Statue of Liberty. I had to drop her off at school for 3:30 this morning, and she was all hyped up...thank God for Community Coffee! She just called to tell me that they landed safely. I know that she will have a great time, my baby is growng up!

I am horrified by the earthquake and the tsunami in Japan...Ive been following the news and watch in awe at the footage of the waters rushing on shore. The fact that entire villages have been wiped from the face of the earth is hard to wrap my mind around. Now the news that a nuclear reactor may melt down is on my mind; I hope that they can get the situation under control and that the fall out isn't too bad.

All in all, I'm for nuclear power, but I'm sure the greenies out there are already chanting No Nukes, etc. Please people! Events like this are very rare and really, the Japan situation is really a perfect storm and from what I've seen they are doing everything in their power to control this.

Wisconsin made me cheer. While I understand private unions, I never really cottoned to public unions, especially if they have collective barganing powers. As for the protestors, well they acted like animals in the storming of the capital building. It was interesting the number of purple SEIU shirts I counted...they're nothing but thugs.

Gas has hit $3.43 a gallon for regular unleaded here in my neck of the woods. I'd like to thank President Obama for the moratorium, and would also like to extend kuddos to the enviro-wackos for preventing the use of the resources we possess in our country.

Way to go, wackos! I can't tell you all how much I appreciate that we continue to be dependant on people whose asses we have to kiss in order for us to get fuel for our cars, busses and trains. I can't thank you enough for the rise in the cost of the food I buy to feed my family, or that my husband has to take on extra overtime so that I can be home for my kids and take care of my mom. He's just a cop and his job isn't that bloody dangerous or anything, so double shifts on the streets of Houston are just a cake walk for him! Not to mention the fact that I really don't need to actually see my husband, or spend time with him or anything.

Also, big thanks for potentially affecting our annual Memorial Day Crawfish Boil! We really don't need to see family and friends, who drive in from New Orleans and Baton Rouge for the shindig, whom we don't see often or anything like that. It's just family and friends and all, I mean really.

So thanks, Mr. President! Thanks enviro-wackos!

On Mortality

My mother is dying.

She is only 64, and I am not ready for her to die.

Am I being selfish? The last few years have been filled with pain for her. She isn't dying from cancer, but from an accident. An accident that resulted from a fall she took after a knee replacement, and then from a fall she took a week later in the hospital...she seemed to be doing so well. She was participating in physical therapy. We had her in the care of a wound treatment doctor. She showed no signs; presented no symptoms of the pneumonia that is killing her now. No fever, no cough, no nothing.

To say that we are shocked by the diagnosis is an understatement.

Her history is thus: for a couple of years now, her knee has been giving her problems, so she has gotten sedentary as a result. Thus she has gotten obese. On 12/20/10 she had her knee replaced. On 12/28 she was back in hospital with an infection in the knee. On 1/1 she was sent home. A few days later, when she was alone, she fell in a freak accident and the incision burst open. She crawled to the phone and got help, since her alert necklace didn't work.

Emergency surgery repaired the leg. One week later, in the hospital, she fell again. The incision ruptured again, and after surgery we were told that another fall would cost her the leg.

30 days later she went home. Then this past Sunday she was back in the ER with shortness of breath. She was diagnosed with phenomena and put on a ventilator.
They can't take her off of it, as she cannot take enough breaths to sustain life. I am not a doctor, but even I know that the longer one is intubated, the harder it is to get off of it. Her pulmonologist has said it's not a question of when she will get off of the machine, but IF she can get off. If she can't get off, she will need long term care, on a vent, and she will never consent to that. So her death will be either by suffocation or morphine.

I am not ready for my mother to die.

I know that we are mortal, but these last few months have really made me realize the mortality of my mom and dad. I used to think of them as always there. That one day they would see their granddaughters married. In the back of my mind, I knew that there would come a time when I would have to take care of them...I just didn't expect it to be so damn soon.

And I find myself in a sort of limbo. I have children who love their grand-ma, children whom I haven't told the news. My oldest turns 16 tomorrow, and I want to put it off till after her party and quite honestly I'm scared to death about telling my youngest. She is extraordinarily close to mom. I'm not sure how she will cope with this. Hell, I'm not sure how I am coping with all of this!

I feel caught. Caught between emotions; I know that I need to deal with my children and their emotions, I need to deal with my emotions, I have to be there for my daddy. How do I take care of everyone and take care of myself?

How do I face my mother when we tell her the options she has? How do I accept the decision I know she will make? Will I be brave enough to be with her at the end?

How do I live my life without the best mother a woman could ever ask for, faults and all, in my life?

Why do I accept the premise of either God will take her home, or heal her, with such ease? I pray for a miracle, but I still plan for the worst. Does that make me a sinner? Unfaithful? Or does that make me practical and realistic?

I just want my mother to be out of pain. I would prefer her to live, but what if God's plan is to bring her home? Will my and is my anger righteous?

I cannot imagine a life without her. My mother has been there for me in ways I cannot even begin to enumerate. I wouldn't be where I am without her.

The fact that these are likely her last days is like a poisonous thought to me, but I must also face the reality that my parents are indeed mortal.

It is a hard thought, a hard idea to bear...but it is also, in its own way, another lesson on life; given by a parent. It is also a chance to serve her the way she has served me.

As scary and sad as this all is, I am also honored that I have this privilege...and saddened too.

It is indescribable.

When Did This Happen???

It's 5 A.M. A time of day when all good folks should be asleep...not working on their 11 year-old daughter's science experiment that she had all weekend to do but chose to wait until 5 P.M. yesterday to start, do and complete. No, she didn't even plan the layout of the three sided foam board on which she presents her experiment.

When did my A/B honor roll student morph into an academically lazy, hormone laden, I have to fight her to get anything school related or chore related done, pre-teen? I didn't see it coming!!! It's as if aliens have kidnapped the pleasant, well mannered child I've raised and substituted her with a whinny android twin...the anthesis of the child that lived in my house for the last 10 years.

All of a sudden she is obsessed with Pokemon and a boy named Javier, who is a nice boy, but she is 11 and so is he, and didn't I hate boys at 11? All of a sudden, she does her chores in a half-assed manner, whines over everything and fights with her oldest sister. Then sometimes, she is the same cuddly, well tempered child I've known since before she was born. Am I living with Sybil?

The thing that really kills me is this; She is so frighteningly intelligent. This girl, who at the age of 9, unwittingly explained Einstein's Theory of Relativity to me from the back seat of the car one day, out of the clear blue, is scary smart. She is capable of so much more than she is giving right now, and it's frustrating. Especially at 5 A.M. whilst gulping coffee and inhailing Sharpie fumes. Sharpie fumes make me sneeze and I am not civil until I've had at least 2 cups of Community New Orleans Blend.

Currently, she is at the dining room table, coloring in the lettering that I've worked so hard to make look like her penmanship. Penmanship that has gone from the neat Catholic school printing, to that of resembling a doctor's illegable scrawl. She is also crying in frustration and I'm still working on cup one of the aforementioned Community coffee, and trying to keep my cool. I love my life,I love my life, I love my life....

GAH!!!! I Can't Stand It Anymore!

I feel like I'm a terrible homemaker! Everytime I clean, things just get messed up again...I must also confess to some days just being lazy...anyway, since mom's surgery and subsequesent falls, my life has gotten busier.

I will be going to her house on a daily basis, to help her out, until she is able to be on her own. I also want to go back to school this year, to study nursing. I need to make some changes in the routine here...I can't function properly if I know that the house is messy...I hate coming home to a messy house.

Also, as I don't have a job "job", Mike is carrying the entire financial burden of running the house...therefore it's even more important to me to make sure that his home is clean and comfortable.

I suck at this, but I know that I can improve on it..it's simply a matter of organization and discipline.

So I researched and found a site called FlyLady...and joined it. I am now getting ready to go and shine my sink. I am determined to follow their baby steps as well...It's not that I don't KNOW how to clean a house; mother taught us how to do that, it's just that it can get overwhelming. 4 people in a house, and 3 pets...yikes!

But I am determined! So I will be a good girl and exercise patience and follow the advice of the FlyLady!

GASP!!!! Could The Jonas Brothers Have It Right????

This just reported on Yahoo News!

Even if humans stop producing excess carbon dioxide in 2100, the lingering effects of global warming could span the next millennia. The results? By the year 3000, global warming would be more than a hot topic - the West Antarctic ice sheet could collapse, and global sea levels would rise by about 13 feet (4 meters), according to a new study

If the science (coughcough) behind this is correct then we could have this:




It's almost precient, spoooookkkkkyyyyy!


So does this mean, that if the JoBros are right, they will be worshipped in the manner of these guys?

Happy New Year?

First entry of 2011. I had intended to make an entry before today, but I've been busy dealing woth life, the universe and everything.

On the home front, hubby and I are adopting a cute little puppy. He's a German Shepard mix and his name is Elmer, Elmer Fudd to be precise. He has a brother named Pepe LePew, and we were tempted to adopt both of them, but decided that two 50 pound dogs would be a bit much, especially when we already have 2 cats. Well, at least hubby won't be the only male in the house anymore.

Elmer Fudd

Isn't he cute?  We chose to get him from an abandoned animal shelter and he is currently being fostered. Adopting a pet from these guys, is like adopting a baby; they are even doing a home inspection. I'm pretty cool with this, actually. Anyway, I've bought him his bowls, a snuggle toy or two, some chew toys and his collar and leash. The collar is a Harley Davidson collar, naturally. When he gets bigger, I want to get him a leather studed collar.

It will be interesting to see how the kittehs react to Elmer, and I'm sure will make for interesting blog posts in the near future.

Mom had her kneew replaced on 12/20, and this past Monday she fell and the entire incision burst open. Monday night was spent in the ER while mom had emergency surgery. It was touch and go for a while, becuse we had to wait to see if the Fibula was broken; she'd have lost the leg if it were. Happily it wasn't and her surgeon was able to fix the prosthesis.

She lost a lot of blood from the fall. She had been home alone and doing quite well, when the foot to her walker got caught on the door frame to her bathroom. She even fell onto her good knee (which was likely what kept her from breaking the leg). Since the medic alert necklace didn't work, mom had to drag herself across the bathroom and into the bedroom to get to the phone. I'm so amazed at her presence of mind to do that! So she goes through all of this, blood gushing everywhere, gets to the cell phone and guess what? She can't get through to 911! We have no clue why the phone is restricted from dialing 911, but I'm going to find out why!

Thank GOD for mother's amazing neighbor, Mary! Mom called dad, who told her to call Mary. Mom called Mary and Mary rushed over, let herself in with her key and walked into a horrible sight. But she called 911 and started to try to stop the bleeding and held mom's hand till EMS arrived. She even drove mom's purse to the hospital and was willing to wait till one of us kids or dad got there. Then she said she'd clean up the blood and tissue, which she didn't have to do, as my brother in law (who pukes at the sight of blood) did...the BIL is amazing! I know that wasn't easy on him and he's getting a HUGE hug when I see him again!

God Bless the wonderful EMS crew that responded to the call. They know mother pretty well as she's called them over the last few years, and they have always taken such great care of her. They know just what to say to her, just when how to calm her and put her at ease.

So Monday night was emergency surgery and mom spent Monday night and all of Tuesday and part of Wednesday in the ICU due to complications. I was and am still worried about her, although as of yesterday she was alert and eating like a teenager. She has had 6 units of blood since Monday. Wow.

Wow.

I think that what has hit me the most is that my parents are aging. I know that they're in their 60's, which really isn't old, but I still think of them as they were when I was younger. They are so active, mom was especially before her knees turned to crap...and she will be again when she's better, but the events of December and this past week, have really opened my eyes.to the fact that my parents are aging. Daddy is planning on retiring later this year. Mike and I have decided, and daddy agrees that the door to the water closet needs to be widened so that mom doesn't have to maneuver the walker in a manner that can cause another accident. There are other things as well.

The thought that my sisters and I will have ageing parents to care for is daunting and scary. I don't think of them as old...I've never considered their mortality before now. I know that one day I will lose my parents and the prospect of this scares me, I don't think of it often either, as it upsets me.  But, at the risk of sounding blase', I know that this is part of life and I will deal with it when it happens.

All life is a learning experience. Lessons are given on a daily basis, some easy others hard. You are sometimes taught about loss at an early age, sometimes not. Yet, I believe that you ae never handed more than you can handle, even if you aren't (or think you aren't) ready to deal with something. So in this vein of thought, and now that I've had my required crying jag, I've put on "my big girl panties" (to quote my friend Jason) I'm slowly learning to deal with this. I will take it as it comes. I will be thankful that my husband is so supportive, that even though a second income is needed, he loves and respects my parents and knows that they need me to take care of mom for a while. I'm so very, very thankful that I don't have a job outside of the home at present.

I am also struck by this thought, as I end this entry; in the olden days, children took care of their parents as they aged. Extended families are really a thing of the past as lives have gotten busier. The growth of the nursing home industry shows this. I am, in a way, honored that I can take care of my parents when the time comes. They took such wonderful care of me, raised me well, loved me and didn't kill me over the stupid crap I did as a teenager. I think it fitting that I return the love and care, the respect.   Hopefully, when my tiurn comes, my kids will return the blessing.