Anatomy of a Motorcycle Wreck, and Why I will Ride Again

The ride to where I was going was textbook perfect. It was sunny, there were some cross winds, but those were only in the straightaways where there were no trees to shield me. I was so proud of myself (still am) for reaching Tomball (35 miles from home) on my first ride that wasn't around the neighborhood, that after I backed the bike into it's parking slot, I punched the air.

The trip home a few hours later wasn't so perfect. The Sun was shining, but the head winds were truly bad. At least they seemed so to me, the novice. I'm sure an expert rider would have found them challenging, but not scary like I did. At any rate, the first half of the ride was okay, the head winds sucked, but I handled them and even pulled off into a gas station and took a rest at the half way mark. I needed to plan the rest of my ride, as I hadn't taken the winds into account in my plans.

One cigarette later, and after running the rest of the route, which was full of curves, through my head, I was back on the road and dealing rather well with the extra challenge.

Or so I thought.

Looking back on the wreck now, I see my mistake. If the price of my stupidity is leaving some of y skin on Fry Road is the price I have to pay in exchange for walking away, then I'm fine with it. However, I do have to reconstruct yesterday's events so that I learn from my mistakes.

On a long, deceptively sharp curve on Fry, approaching the intersection with Hwy 529, the winds went from head to cross. I had to lean harder on the bike, fine no probs..my posture was good, eyes were where I wanted to be. Then, in the apex, a fierce gust hit me, jogging the handlebars...well the whole bike, actually.

I panicked. Panicked and made a stupid error. Broke the cardinal rule of riding.

I took my eyes off of the road and grabbed the front brake when my wheels weren't aligned.

I remember the bike going out of control, which worsened the panic and I threw my legs out and off the pegs. Then I remember going down, at some point I hit the engine off button (thank you Jesus), and slid about 20 or 30 feet. I remember checking my speed as I approached the curve and downshifting in anticipation of the red light ahead, and I was doing about 50 as I entered the curve and began slowing down, so I figure that I was going 35 to 40 when the crash happened.

People say that when they were in accidents that their lives flashed before their eyes...not me. I distinctly remember thinking this: “You have to be fucking kidding me” as I hit the pavement and slid.

As soon at we stopped I got up and got onto the grass next to me, and two gentlemen stopped and helped me get the bike up and out of the street. I called then texted Mike and then Jason. Mike got AAA to come out and so I spent an hour and a half cooling down in the nearby Jack in the Box.

I got drunk on purpose once I got home and cleaned my wounds. I didn’t want to dream about the wreck, and if I did I don’t remember.

This morning I am sore, well it’s way beyond sore, dehydrated (thanks you scotch!) and mad at myself. No, supremely pissed is a better way to describe it, actually.

What I should have done was just keep my eyes on the road, looking in the direction I wanted to go and rolled a tad more on the throttle until I got onto the small straightaway. Then, I’d have been able to do a rapid stop, or maybe the light would have turned green.  Had I kept my eyes on the prize, the bike would have righted it self and I’d have been fine.

I made a stupid mistake and consider myself blessed that all that happened was I got scraped up and the bike is missing a peg and some paint.

I will NEVER make this mistake again, that’s for sure and naturally I will ride again, as soon as the bike is fixed and my ego is less bruised.  The fun part is going to be telling my parents, (who really don’t like me riding even thought they haven’t told me so) today when I take the kids to see them. I am SOOOO looking forward to that talk with them.

But, I will ride again. I love riding, the smells of the road or the new mown grass, the morning and afternoon of this ride I smelled the freshness of just sawn lumber.  I like the challenge, riding has made me a better driver, I'm more aware of the cars around me. I love the freedom that riding gives me, there is nothing better than a clear day and riding the country roads, especially when I am behind Mike, my arms wrapped around him as we zip along.


So this accident won't stop me from riding, I enjoy it too much to stop.  

My knee

My Elbow

My Shoulder

Yes, Yes, I know...It's been a while....

But I have been busy, taking care of mom, the house, the puppy and the kids.

I have, however, taken a weekend off and returned to my birthplace....New Orleans for a respite weekend.

While it's true I lived here in 2009 and part of 2010, it's nice to play tourist; to return to the places you visited as a kid. Today I slept in, lolling about in the comfortable bed in my hotel. I'm sitting on it as I write this, still luxuriating in the comfort of the many pillows that are just the right amount of fluffy and firm.

So, today I decided that once I got up, I wanted to have a roast beef poboy and then visit the New Orleans of Art. I hadn't been to the museum in a very long time, the most memorable trip being to see the King Tut exhibit back in the 70's. I remember that they painted the street and circle Nile Blue and how much of a production it was for our city.

After dressing, and regretting the fact that I failed to pack a hat, I set off for Parran's poboys...which 10 years ago when I lived here, was a small hole in the wall affair that served incredible food.

It's much bigger today and the menu has expanded as well, but the poboys are still incredible; as a matter of fact todays lunch was a 6 napkin lunch, which for you non New Orleanian's means that the poboy was dripping with gravy. I also had Fried Eggplant sticks with marinara sauce....I ADORE fried eggplant!!!!

 The whole day was beautiful. It was warm, especially in the sun, but the verdant shade of the sculpture garden, the oak's and the moss, cooled me. I had forgotten how pleasant the oasis that is City Park, and as I watched the paddle boats or the picnickers, I recalled the times we spent at the park when I was a girl.  The train still runs, I can remember taking that train around the park; the children still wave at the people who wait at the crossing, smiles wide with the innocent delight of a child. Some of the adults waved too, some a bit sheepishly perhaps, and most likely were only doing it to please the kids. Had I had the time for a ride, I'd have waived.

As I stated earlier, it had been a while since I'd been to the Museum of Art, and I had forgotten how imposing the original wooden doors are...they are about 10 inches thick, and decorated with iron studs and handles. It opened in 1911 and so the centennial anniversary is being celebrated in a year long fete, complete with floral art. Some of the featured art was done by New Orleans institutions, like Adler's Jewler's...I can still hear the time announced on the radio "Adler's Jewlery time is ...." or the TImes Picayune, The Picayune as it was then, who had a newspaper stand made of flowers and a slide show of front pages that spanned 100 years.

I also saw the Faberge collection, a truly beautiful collection, and Japanese Calligraphy. My favorite was this HUGE portrait of Marie Antoinette, as queen. It spanned from celing to floor. I wish that pictures were allowed, forbidden I'm afraid, so that I could post a shot of it. Truly imposing, beautiful.  As it was, I took pictures of what I could...

The New Orleans Museum of Art

Sculpture on the entrance circle.

Verdant and cool.

Part of the sculpture garden.

After my walk in the park, I decided that it was time for me to take a rare nap. So back to the hotel and the heavenly bed in my room. After all, I had a performance to attend later in the evening.

I've written about Jason before...and his band The Flashback Chameleons performed at Dago's Cantina last night. and naturally I attended. After all, true friends are hard to come by, and also I appreciate music, especially when its performed by talented people. Jason and the Chameleons are very, very talented. 

Suffice it to say, I haven't stayed up as late as I did in a long, long time. In fact I didn't make it back to the hotel until 5 AM this morning. Talk about a hard drive back to Houston today...thank God for coffee. BUT I HAD A BLAST!!!!! I also got to see Mike Styborski, am old buddy from middle school who is still as cool as he was then. 

Jason and De De, part of the Flashback Chameleons

All in all, I had a wonderful weekend! I really needed to get away from it all and it was nice to get back home again.

Update on Mom and Other Items

My last entry was on 2/23, one day before my eldest daughter turned 16, and the news was dire.

Well, miracles do indeed happen, my mother pulled through. She has a long, long road ahead of her as she has to recover from the punemonia and also rehab her knee, but I am not complaining.

My eldest, Katie, just left this morning for a week long trip to The Big Apple. She is touring with her school choir, and they will see all of Manhattan as well as attend two Broadway shows and give a concert in front of the Statue of Liberty. I had to drop her off at school for 3:30 this morning, and she was all hyped up...thank God for Community Coffee! She just called to tell me that they landed safely. I know that she will have a great time, my baby is growng up!

I am horrified by the earthquake and the tsunami in Japan...Ive been following the news and watch in awe at the footage of the waters rushing on shore. The fact that entire villages have been wiped from the face of the earth is hard to wrap my mind around. Now the news that a nuclear reactor may melt down is on my mind; I hope that they can get the situation under control and that the fall out isn't too bad.

All in all, I'm for nuclear power, but I'm sure the greenies out there are already chanting No Nukes, etc. Please people! Events like this are very rare and really, the Japan situation is really a perfect storm and from what I've seen they are doing everything in their power to control this.

Wisconsin made me cheer. While I understand private unions, I never really cottoned to public unions, especially if they have collective barganing powers. As for the protestors, well they acted like animals in the storming of the capital building. It was interesting the number of purple SEIU shirts I counted...they're nothing but thugs.

Gas has hit $3.43 a gallon for regular unleaded here in my neck of the woods. I'd like to thank President Obama for the moratorium, and would also like to extend kuddos to the enviro-wackos for preventing the use of the resources we possess in our country.

Way to go, wackos! I can't tell you all how much I appreciate that we continue to be dependant on people whose asses we have to kiss in order for us to get fuel for our cars, busses and trains. I can't thank you enough for the rise in the cost of the food I buy to feed my family, or that my husband has to take on extra overtime so that I can be home for my kids and take care of my mom. He's just a cop and his job isn't that bloody dangerous or anything, so double shifts on the streets of Houston are just a cake walk for him! Not to mention the fact that I really don't need to actually see my husband, or spend time with him or anything.

Also, big thanks for potentially affecting our annual Memorial Day Crawfish Boil! We really don't need to see family and friends, who drive in from New Orleans and Baton Rouge for the shindig, whom we don't see often or anything like that. It's just family and friends and all, I mean really.

So thanks, Mr. President! Thanks enviro-wackos!

On Mortality

My mother is dying.

She is only 64, and I am not ready for her to die.

Am I being selfish? The last few years have been filled with pain for her. She isn't dying from cancer, but from an accident. An accident that resulted from a fall she took after a knee replacement, and then from a fall she took a week later in the hospital...she seemed to be doing so well. She was participating in physical therapy. We had her in the care of a wound treatment doctor. She showed no signs; presented no symptoms of the pneumonia that is killing her now. No fever, no cough, no nothing.

To say that we are shocked by the diagnosis is an understatement.

Her history is thus: for a couple of years now, her knee has been giving her problems, so she has gotten sedentary as a result. Thus she has gotten obese. On 12/20/10 she had her knee replaced. On 12/28 she was back in hospital with an infection in the knee. On 1/1 she was sent home. A few days later, when she was alone, she fell in a freak accident and the incision burst open. She crawled to the phone and got help, since her alert necklace didn't work.

Emergency surgery repaired the leg. One week later, in the hospital, she fell again. The incision ruptured again, and after surgery we were told that another fall would cost her the leg.

30 days later she went home. Then this past Sunday she was back in the ER with shortness of breath. She was diagnosed with phenomena and put on a ventilator.
They can't take her off of it, as she cannot take enough breaths to sustain life. I am not a doctor, but even I know that the longer one is intubated, the harder it is to get off of it. Her pulmonologist has said it's not a question of when she will get off of the machine, but IF she can get off. If she can't get off, she will need long term care, on a vent, and she will never consent to that. So her death will be either by suffocation or morphine.

I am not ready for my mother to die.

I know that we are mortal, but these last few months have really made me realize the mortality of my mom and dad. I used to think of them as always there. That one day they would see their granddaughters married. In the back of my mind, I knew that there would come a time when I would have to take care of them...I just didn't expect it to be so damn soon.

And I find myself in a sort of limbo. I have children who love their grand-ma, children whom I haven't told the news. My oldest turns 16 tomorrow, and I want to put it off till after her party and quite honestly I'm scared to death about telling my youngest. She is extraordinarily close to mom. I'm not sure how she will cope with this. Hell, I'm not sure how I am coping with all of this!

I feel caught. Caught between emotions; I know that I need to deal with my children and their emotions, I need to deal with my emotions, I have to be there for my daddy. How do I take care of everyone and take care of myself?

How do I face my mother when we tell her the options she has? How do I accept the decision I know she will make? Will I be brave enough to be with her at the end?

How do I live my life without the best mother a woman could ever ask for, faults and all, in my life?

Why do I accept the premise of either God will take her home, or heal her, with such ease? I pray for a miracle, but I still plan for the worst. Does that make me a sinner? Unfaithful? Or does that make me practical and realistic?

I just want my mother to be out of pain. I would prefer her to live, but what if God's plan is to bring her home? Will my and is my anger righteous?

I cannot imagine a life without her. My mother has been there for me in ways I cannot even begin to enumerate. I wouldn't be where I am without her.

The fact that these are likely her last days is like a poisonous thought to me, but I must also face the reality that my parents are indeed mortal.

It is a hard thought, a hard idea to bear...but it is also, in its own way, another lesson on life; given by a parent. It is also a chance to serve her the way she has served me.

As scary and sad as this all is, I am also honored that I have this privilege...and saddened too.

It is indescribable.

When Did This Happen???

It's 5 A.M. A time of day when all good folks should be asleep...not working on their 11 year-old daughter's science experiment that she had all weekend to do but chose to wait until 5 P.M. yesterday to start, do and complete. No, she didn't even plan the layout of the three sided foam board on which she presents her experiment.

When did my A/B honor roll student morph into an academically lazy, hormone laden, I have to fight her to get anything school related or chore related done, pre-teen? I didn't see it coming!!! It's as if aliens have kidnapped the pleasant, well mannered child I've raised and substituted her with a whinny android twin...the anthesis of the child that lived in my house for the last 10 years.

All of a sudden she is obsessed with Pokemon and a boy named Javier, who is a nice boy, but she is 11 and so is he, and didn't I hate boys at 11? All of a sudden, she does her chores in a half-assed manner, whines over everything and fights with her oldest sister. Then sometimes, she is the same cuddly, well tempered child I've known since before she was born. Am I living with Sybil?

The thing that really kills me is this; She is so frighteningly intelligent. This girl, who at the age of 9, unwittingly explained Einstein's Theory of Relativity to me from the back seat of the car one day, out of the clear blue, is scary smart. She is capable of so much more than she is giving right now, and it's frustrating. Especially at 5 A.M. whilst gulping coffee and inhailing Sharpie fumes. Sharpie fumes make me sneeze and I am not civil until I've had at least 2 cups of Community New Orleans Blend.

Currently, she is at the dining room table, coloring in the lettering that I've worked so hard to make look like her penmanship. Penmanship that has gone from the neat Catholic school printing, to that of resembling a doctor's illegable scrawl. She is also crying in frustration and I'm still working on cup one of the aforementioned Community coffee, and trying to keep my cool. I love my life,I love my life, I love my life....

GAH!!!! I Can't Stand It Anymore!

I feel like I'm a terrible homemaker! Everytime I clean, things just get messed up again...I must also confess to some days just being lazy...anyway, since mom's surgery and subsequesent falls, my life has gotten busier.

I will be going to her house on a daily basis, to help her out, until she is able to be on her own. I also want to go back to school this year, to study nursing. I need to make some changes in the routine here...I can't function properly if I know that the house is messy...I hate coming home to a messy house.

Also, as I don't have a job "job", Mike is carrying the entire financial burden of running the house...therefore it's even more important to me to make sure that his home is clean and comfortable.

I suck at this, but I know that I can improve on it..it's simply a matter of organization and discipline.

So I researched and found a site called FlyLady...and joined it. I am now getting ready to go and shine my sink. I am determined to follow their baby steps as well...It's not that I don't KNOW how to clean a house; mother taught us how to do that, it's just that it can get overwhelming. 4 people in a house, and 3 pets...yikes!

But I am determined! So I will be a good girl and exercise patience and follow the advice of the FlyLady!